I’s not a conversation you should be having with your grandmother

It’s always with a smile on my face that I listen to her stories of ‘Antan Lontan’ which often begin with ‘back in the day, my grandma used to…’ On that day, she told me about Man Koukou, Tatie’s godmother, this chic and elegant lady always dressed to the nines. Man Koukou never moved without her headscarf, her umbrella, her embroidered blouse with sleeves, her flared skirt that covered her large cotton underwear, her two petticoats, and her heels. Some found it funny, imagining the battle she must have had when she needed to relieve herself. She also told me how, one day when she asked her a question about…sex, Manman Nini, mother of six children, replied that a woman should never undress. The protocol was clearly established: ‘you raise your nightgown at night and do your business, then you turn it down when you’re done…’ Listening to her childhood stories, one thing was certain…I could only think that times had changed. For the better? For the worse? Too uninhibited? These are questions I won’t answer here ([smile] don’t blame me). Today, I’m here to tell you how Françoise aka La Guyanaise has decided to contribute to this change of era by opening a window of decomplication and liberation of speech for everyone.

The Apero Confession

At the entrance, a hostess handed me a cute cardboard box to munch on containing a mini bottle of rosé wine and a steel jewelry piece from a local creator. Nothing to do with curiosity, but I still took a look at the men’s bags. They received a small bottle of red wine and a pair of naughty dice to play with…was this a desire to associate women with beauty things and men with sex things? My mind had already started to think…

In any case, a few meters down, both men and women faced the reality that awaited them that evening. Indeed, I came face to face with an undisguised display of naughty toys of all shapes and kinds, the tone was set.

I then entered the charming Mélody’s Café located in Lamentin, it seemed to have been designed for the occasion. The bar area newly chosen by Françoise to host her Apéros had been privatized for this evening. Dim and cozy atmosphere, background music, nothing had been left to chance in its decoration. Pandora’s boxes, candles, roses, handcuffs, exquisite shaped treats, and a comforting atmosphere that said, make yourself comfortable, we are among ourselves tonight.

I settled at my table, custom cocktail in hand, eagerly waiting for it to begin. Françoise had come to greet me and make sure everything suited me, she seemed genuinely concerned. The way she addressed her guests made you want to relax.

The presence of men caught my attention, and I was eager to hear what each had to say, eager to share. Another presence had caught my attention, a Man Koukou who was waiting in her little salon for the debate to begin. I remember wondering if she had made a mistake, but then I snapped out of it, realizing that it was what made the meeting unique, it was really for everyone.

The evening began with a carefully selected musical animation that perfectly matched the themes of the debates. In these songs, Dimitri Paul talked about love, desire, and pleasure (I’m already planning to meet him… again… just for you).

Françoise took the microphone and immediately announced that she was not a love coach and that this evening was dedicated to us. We were going to discuss the 5 love languages, polyandry, and female masturbation. Everyone had something to contribute, it was a space where we were free to express our views, talk about the lessons learned from our experiences, and reveal our taboos, limits, and even our choices, no matter how deviant they might seem to some. In the end, no one was right or wrong because each person spoke of what they knew and what they had experienced.

Some people, including Man Koukou, remained silent, perhaps out of shyness or fear of judgment. And then, at some point, feeling confident enough to speak up, they decided to take the floor. Françoise had won her bet!

The second musical interlude allowed us to escape and enjoy the sale of toys outside and get advice on their use.

Beyond being a portal of expression, this evening turned out to be a true exercise in listening and accepting others in their differences, in their choices. I saw people smiling, at ease, and clearly liberated. I saw others restraining themselves from jumping in and doing real work to control themselves. And then, I saw especially those who undoubtedly give Françoise the energy to set up this type of workshop. I’m talking about the people who came out different, enriched by the exchanges, those who faced their shyness and had a seed planted in them, now they just need to water it.

I wanted to see Françoise again to hear what led her to the Apéro Confession.

FRANÇOISE LA GUYANAISE

Beyond representing her origin, La Guyanaise is also the name under which you will find Françoise on her Instagram account dedicated to her main activity, catering, yes!

Françoise, a mother, wife, and businesswoman, has been navigating between France, Guyana, and Guadeloupe for over 21 years now.

Initially, the idea was to bring people together for a conversation to introduce them to some specialties from Guyana such as Bami and Nassi. That’s why the first edition of Apéro Confession, which took place exactly one year ago, had no specific theme but rather took the form of an open mic. Françoise realized with her friends and their friends that she was becoming almost systematically, without any request from her and very naturally, a listening ear where the most unspoken confidences were revealed. Without realizing it, between the trials she had gone through, the experiences she had lived, and her passion for human psychology, she had developed an ability to help others, to understand, to accept. So, Françoise decided to put all this into a shaker and came up with Apéro Confession as I have described it to you. It is her way of allowing men and women to clarify things and confront their ideas in a pleasant setting, a neutral ground. She wanted to help them undo the blocks related to education and decomplex the speech in respect of all. Building on the success of her previous editions, she wants to evolve this project, which is a story created with the public. She told me that she is looking for a sexologist or a love coach who could complement her small moments of exchange, but she wants to keep this intimate and friendly aspect and stay away from what would resemble a medical consultation. La Guyanaise had been invited to Martinique to organize an Apéro Confession 972 edition, but the thing that put our lives on hold for the past two years completely disrupted all plans. While waiting for the next meeting to be scheduled, I can tell you that one of the themes that will be addressed during the Apéro Confession scheduled in Guadeloupe on March 19th is “Sexuality and Religion,” and Françoise has planned a very special guest for this fourth edition. I won’t say more, I’ll leave you her page here so you don’t miss the next meetings.